Monday, December 31, 2012

Kpop 2012: the bad

With a new year upon us, it's time to look back on kpop in 2012. Soyeon Friend and I came up with our picks for the best and worst of kpop this year. We're including individual singles, groups as a whole, scandals and dramas. So we end on a positive note, the list of bad stuff comes first. In no meaningful order, here are the 10 worst things about kpop in 2012:

Sunday, December 30, 2012

Guilty pleasure songs of 2012

As the year wraps up, I thought I'd come out of the bad music closet and admit to liking some embarrassing songs.


Please save me from myself.


Warning: If you get ill thinking about shit idol music, please do not read on.

Friday, December 28, 2012

Cheerz: Simon D "Cheerz"

Yay! To celebrate the year's end, this week's edition features the Cheerz namesake!



Unnecessary subgroups

Cube has gifted the kpop community with a present for which nobody asked: the debut of project group Double Yoon. This subgroup combines Gayoon and Jiyoon and basically is set up to be the K.R.Y. or TaeTiSeo of 4Minute, aka the "singers subgroup."


Huh, that thing around Jiyoon's neck looks kinda like a nipple ...


Gayoon and Jiyoon are the best singers in 4Minute, hands down. I like them, and I like 4Minute. But come on now, nobody pays attention to 4Minute for the music.

Thursday, December 27, 2012

soshi manager chapter 4


I walked in the door and immediately remembered why I had been dreading today for some time. That stupid festival... I don't have anything against Vietnam or anything but I knew that it'd be quite the chore to round up all the girls by the time their flight left. Who knew what ridiculous acts of trivia answering or shoe finding I'd have to undertake to get them in the car?



Telling it like it is

I'm famous and yer not, bitches. Put that in ur pipe and smoke it.


Kara's Seungyeon spoke out against the haters this week. Basically, she called out anonymous online antis and said she'd rather spend her time thinking about positive people.

I don't listen to a lot of Kara, and I don't know much about Seungyeon. However, I've always loved when idols drop the "perfect" charade and act like normal people.

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

I Spy: A Bunch of Shit that Doesn't Make Sense 2



Get out your shit-spotting goggles -- it's time for another round of "I Spy: A Bunch of Shit that Doesn't Make Sense."

This edition focuses on Lee Hi's "1,2,3,4," a trove of Engrish and noodle-scratching props. Try to find all the hidden and not-so-hidden gems in the video.


shit that probably only annoys me

Monday, December 24, 2012

Merry Christmas



Greetings! Fany Claus has a gift for everyone -- SNSD Christmas vids (oooh, sounds sexy).


Friday, December 21, 2012

Cheerz: 프라이머리(Primary) - 만나 (Feat. ZION.T)

Fany had to work late or died or something, who cares so I'm doing this week's Cheerz. 

But why is this?

This looks familiar. It's like I've seen this before ...


Remember 2008? I do. It was the year I got my first real, post-college job and moved across the country. It was the year Britney Spears' "Circus" came out and Obama won the presidency. It also was the year SNSD recorded and made the MV for the song that was released today. Confused? So am I.

Monday, December 17, 2012

The 12 Days of Kpop Christmas

Oppa's here to brighten your Christmas.

Ayyy, gurl, I have a present for you.
Let me just put down this box so I can unzip my pants.

Er, I meant with a song

Saturday, December 15, 2012

My life as a soshi manager

It might be hard to believe but I was recently hired as the new manager of Girls Generation. It turns out my listening to a bunch of their songs and playing band in school was enough of a resume to get the job. I thought it might be fun to catalog my experiences here so you can see what it's like to be a K-pop manager. Sure, it's hard work but it's also rewarding. 

Friday, December 14, 2012

Cheerz: Sistar "So Cool"

RECIPE FOR GOOD MUSIC VIDEO
Ingredients
1 great beat
1 addictive song
4 glittery minidresses
one serving DJ DOC
1 great singer/dancer
1 piece eye candy
1 jack-of-all-trades
1 Dasom (optional)

Directions
Mix all ingredients. Place mixture in 9x9-inch pan. Bake at 400F (cause we like it hot) for 3 minutes and 24 seconds.

Review: Hello Venus "What Are You Doing Today?"



I was pretty interested to listen to Hello Venus' second mini album, "What Are You Doing Today?" Hello Venus is one of those groups I heard a lot about when they debuted but I just couldn't get into for some reason. Their debut single, "Venus," was OK but forgettable to me, which basically describes what I thought of the group as a whole. (If it weren't for Lime, I would not have been able to pick them out of a lineup.)


Like the hair, gurl, but psssh, that ain't green. 


With all the good things I heard about them, though, I wanted to give Hello Venus another chance, so here's a look at the new album.

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

your fan art is awesome!




Any good kpop fan has at some point tried to draw their favorite idol. Only the really stupid ones put them online for others to laugh at. 

K-Files: Ailee-en abduction edition

With all the big kpop news lately, such as Psy's anti-American singalong, some alarming news was overlooked. 

This week, aliens abducted Ailee and replaced her with a pod person. They even tweeted the proof:


There's something very different about you Ailee ...
I am new contacts wearing.


I have a couple theories as to why.

Friday, December 7, 2012

Cheerz: U-KISS "Neverland"

For this week's edition of Cheerz, I picked U-KISS' "Neverland." With my snowy wishes, I wanted a dancy track that featured snow in the video.


Embarrassing confession after the jump

Thursday, December 6, 2012

Updated! Gimme some of that white stuff

It snowed in Second Best Korea this week. How do I know this? Same way I get all my news -- idol tweets, of course.

All the snow over there is making me really bitter, because over here, it's been cold and dry. No, not just cold. Fucking. Cold. It hit -40 Monday, and I've been whining like a little bitch ever since.


Minah was kind enough to tweet this photo representation.

Monday, December 3, 2012

Music video not required

The first part of this post easily could have been an "I finally gave in," but since there's two songs at issue here, I decided against labeling it as such. This week, I realized the wonder that is "1,2,3,4" by former "Kpop Star" contestant Lee Hi.


Friday, November 30, 2012

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Eternal sunshine of the JYP-less mind



A couple days ago, JYP revealed this teaser photo to explain why his upcoming "Bad Jazz Bar" concert is rated 19+. Ugh. Please, JYP, don't make me picture you having sex. There are so many horrors in this world; why create more pain?


Tuesday, November 27, 2012

someone's fucking Sunye and it ain't me ;_;

By now I'm sure everyone has seen the news that Sunye is getting married to some guy. To be honest though  who this guy is isn't important, what we should all really take away from this is that Sunye is officially off the market now.

Friday, November 23, 2012

Cheerz: Wonder Girls "G.N.O."

Put down the shopping bags and leave the fam behind -- it's Girls' Night Out with the Wonder Girls.


 I'll bring the drinks. But no cocktails. This night's strictly 'bout the ladies.

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Juniel is not a bad person

Juniel released her second mini album, "1&1," this week. True to form, the lead track, "Bad Man," is mellow and non-threatening.




Tuesday, November 20, 2012

A Fany Pack divided

Juniel has been one of my favorite surprises of the year. I didn't expect to like her, as my track record prior to this year had been pretty low for liking kpop solo acts. So far, though, Juniel has exceeded expectations with "Fool" and her latest album, "1&1."


Sunday, November 18, 2012

Ailee: Rated 'M' for mature



During a recent appearance on "Yoo Hee Yeol's Sketchbook," Ailee proved two things: 1. She is indeed my fave solo kpop singer and 2: G-Dragon's "Crayon" should be left to the Heartbreaker himself.

Friday, November 16, 2012

Cheerz: GD & TOP "High High"

This week's Cheerz is the companion to my post on Big Bang's eternally crappy hair. GD & TOP's "High High" features some nice examples of Bad Bang hair, particularly on G-Dragon.

Big Bang, Bad Hair

My inspiration for this post came from a Soompi article.

To sum it up: The other day, Taeyang shattered the illusion for fans everywhere with this Twitter upload:

Monday, November 12, 2012

Review: Son Dambi "Dripping Tears"

After more than two years, Son Dambi has returned to the music scene with her new album, "Dripping Tears." While I always go into a new song with low expectations, I'm pleased to say Dambi's comeback did not disappoint me. The title track, "Dripping Tears," didn't wow me immediately, but that's more a dig at me than the song. I like things flashy; what can I say?*

How have past Dambis compared on the glitter scale?

Friday, November 9, 2012

Cheerz: 2PM "10 Out Of 10"

Let's take it back this week with 2PM's "10 Out Of 10."* This song, released in 2008, comes from a time when 2PM was a lot more fun, back before Gay Park said he was too straight for Korea. It was a time when 2PM wasn't viewed with so much ambivalence.

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Kpop presidential election

To mark Election Day, I propose a kpop presidential election.

Below are the choices for president/vice president along with some propositions. What are your picks?

Sunday, November 4, 2012

It's par-ry time

Perusing the interwebs lately, I've been bothered by the lack of drinking games that involve kpop. I realize a lot of kpop fans are well under the legal drinking age of their respective countries, but come on, I can't be the only person of age who loves to drink and listen to kpop.

Friday, November 2, 2012

Cheerz: M&D "Close Ur Mouth"

This week's Cheerz is the accidental Jungmo sendoff edition. The Trax member left for his mandatory military stint late last month (you might have missed the news, hidden as it was under a mountain of Leeteuk's fake-teared goodbyes).


But who will I whore myself out to, now?


Seven Simple Rules for Fapping to Kpop

It's time to lay down some ground rules.


Wednesday, October 31, 2012

MAXSHIT

I hesitated to write about SM's latest marketing scheme, Younique Unit dance team. The unit's made up of the best dancers in some of SM's biggest groups. It's got SNSD's  Hyoyeon, SuJu's Eunhyuk, SM orphan Henry, Little Taemin, and a couple Exos. But that's not all Younique boasts. To quote reputable news source Allkpop: "This is the first time an entertainment agency has collaborated with a car company to release an album." 

In short, SM and Hyundai have mated and spawned this music ad-eo. 


Tuesday, October 30, 2012

I finally gave in: miss A's "Touch"

Since I reviewed "I Don't Need a Man," I've found myself actually listening to miss A's "Touch," a song that previously had been so forgettable to me I couldn't sing a single line if prompted. After a few recent listens, I can say I like "Touch." Here's the thing though: I think it's a good song but for a group like T-ara, not miss A.


Can't you just imagine Soyeon here? ... Still not picturing it?


How 'bout now?*  **

Twerkin' it out

On a recent episode of Invincible Youth 2 (ie: No One Gives a Shit Youth), Bora, Suzy, comedian Kim Shin Young and some chick I don't care about made an exercise video. The workout combines dances from the girls' groups (a move from "So Cool" and one from "Breathe") coupled with squatting and some floor exercises. Basically, what Suzy normally does in her bedroom.

Friday, October 26, 2012

Uncovering the secret behind Kpop lyrics

Recently I got my mits on a super top-secret translation algorithm and thought I might use it on some kpop songs to help me get past the language barrier so I could understand the meanings and feelings of some of kpop's hits.

Cheerz: T-ara "Lovey Dovey Zombie"

This Halloween edition of Cheerz features everyone's favorite Mistresses of the Damned, T-ara.


Frightening, I know. But in Jiyeon's defense, she doesn't have any makeup on. 


Thursday, October 25, 2012

Getting By With a Little Help from Stevie Wonder

Let me get this out of the way: I love the Wonder Girls. I constantly listen to "Irony," "So Hot" and the entire "Wonder World" album. Hell, I even watched that Wonder Girls movie they aired on TeenNick. Lol, nah, just playin' ... OK, yeah I did.


Mmmmm, cheesy


But my love for WG makes what happened this week so very painful.

The girls performed at the United Nations Concert for Peace (or something like that), which is a huge honor. On top of that, they got to share the stage with Stevie Wonder, another huge honor. All of this is great.

What's not so great is what happened once they got on the stage.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

The shocking truth behind the other members of 4Minute

Yesterday I saw the new Hyuna MV, 'Ice cream' and thought it was terrible, but that's beside the point. I already knew about Hyuna because she's "the-girl-without-eyebrows" in 'Gangnam Style' by Psy. Anyway I was intrigued by her lack of  eyebrows and decided to Wikipedia her and much to my surprise she's actually in a girl group called '4Minute'.

When I read that name I was vaguely reminded of a song called 'Volume Up' which made me go "Huh, I thought that was a 2NE1 song", before realizing that 'Huh' is also a 4Minute song. I know this is confusing but bare with me.

Monday, October 22, 2012

I Spy: A Bunch of Shit that Doesn't Make Sense

I watched Hyuna's "Ice Cream" video tonight. Although it didn't clear up a darn thing about that teaser vid, it did inspire me.

I've created a game out of the "Ice Cream" video. Based off the "I Spy" books, I call it "I Spy: A Bunch of Shit that Doesn't Make Sense."

This game challenges you to find all the hidden and not-so-hidden gems in the "Ice Cream" music video, so let's play. 

Sunday, October 21, 2012

Review: Hyuna "Melting"

Everyone got a surprise today (whether that was welcome depends on who you talk to. I for one was tickled) with the leak of Hyuna's new album, "Melting."



As a raging HyunaHo, I checked out the album as soon as I saw it.

Saturday, October 20, 2012

Hyuna Just Married

In anticipation of Hyuna's new single, "Ice Cream," from her latest album, "Melting," which comes out Oct. 22, I did something I rarely do: I watched the teaser. I hate teaser videos because they usually sound nothing like the single or take a small section of the song completely out of context (I've seen this result in ballad teasers for dance tracks and upbeat teasers for ballads). Basically, they offer little insight into the actual song/video.

But my excitement for new Hyuna led me to act out in terrible ways, so I had to watch the teaser. Here's what I pieced together from the teaser photos and video:

Friday, October 19, 2012

Cheerz: Miryo "Party Rock"

Miryo's going to get the party started this weekend with "Party Rock." This song's from her "Miryo aka Johoney" album and features Leessang's Gary and The Koxx. "Party Rock" isn't my favorite offering from that album, but it's a nice party track with a lot of energy. Enjoy.

OoooooOOoooooOoooooo



Thursday, October 18, 2012

Hate You: f(x)

I usually try to give groups more than one chance when it comes to me liking them. A lot of the time, I eventually come around to a group I at first thought I didn't like. Among groups I used to hate but have come to appreciate are 2ne1, Beast, Brown Eyed Girls, After School and, more recently, Kara.

To be honest, most of the time, my "first chance" is based on superficial measures unrelated to musical ability or enjoyment. Thus, I've pooh-poohed groups for having stupid names (Sistar, Shinee), stupid outfits (2ne1) and punchable faces (I blame my years of not liking Beast on Yoseob's excruciating little face. Just thinking about it makes me punchy).




Some groups, though, have never grown on me. One group that immediately comes to mind is f(x). I have given up trying to like them. It ain't gonna happen. Through hours of painstaking analysis and self-reflection, I have concluded why: f(x) sucks ass.

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Ailee and unnecessary raps



It always happens this way. I get psyched up for a comeback, and I get disappointed. Sigh. As a recently self-admitted Ailee fangirl, I rabidly waited the past week for her new album to come out. When it did, I naturally started panting a little, then immediately stopped what I was doing (probs drinking and watching Miss A) and focused all attention to new Ailee.

Alas, after watching the video for her new single, I was left feeling slightly disappointed. 

Monday, October 15, 2012

Review: BeyoncA "I Don't Need a Man"

Miss A's new mini album, "Independent Woman Pt. III," just came out and with it the video for the album's lead track, "I Don't Need a Man."

I always think I don't care much for miss A, because they don't have a lot of songs that grab me. But I think a lot of it is just that their songs are really hit or miss. I love "Bad Girl, Good Girl" and "Breathe" but "Touch and "Goodbye Baby" are just meh, forgettable. This latest single feels a lot more like their earlier releases.

Sunday, October 14, 2012

Some songs just suck live

The inspiration for this post comes from 4Minute's "Dream Racer." I noticed that while this song is super fun to listen to, the live performance version sucks ass. That got me to thinking about other songs that are like daggers to the ears, so here's a short list of such tracks.

"DREAM RACER": I love listening to this song because it exemplifies what 4Minute at its best is: fun. The problem is, the live performances of this song suffers from poor pacing during the pseudo-rap parts, which creates this chaotic mess. The album version is quick with over-lapping vocals, but everything is well-defined. The stage version of this is an assault on the ears and not in the good 2NE1 way. 

Friday, October 12, 2012

Cheerz: Supreme Team "Super Magic"

To kick off the weekend, I suggest one of my favorite kpop party songs, "Super Magic."




This song screams fun. It has a memorable intro and a chorus that's made for jumping around with one hand in the air. And the video for "Super Magic" does house partying right: have an eclectic group of fun-looking people, some of which are in costume (I mean who doesn't want to be knock-off Spongebob?), dance and play drinking games. There's jokes, booze and pretty ladies. In short, it's the polar opposite of the SuJu-M "Super Girl" video, which has perhaps the lamest party of all time.


Thursday, October 11, 2012

The third wheel or: The five stages of Dasom grief

K.Will's latest album came out on the 10th. I'm not a big fan of ballads, but I decided to check out the lead single, "Please Don't ..." OK, so I really just wanted to see Dasom in the video.

I enjoyed "Please Don't ..." more than I thought I would, though. K.Will's smooth vocals coupled with chill background music make for pleasant listening. Unlike a lot of overbearing, sappy ballads, this song comes across as pure melancholy and in that way feels more relatable. The video goes with the song pretty well, too.

But back to Dasom. The storyline is your basic three's a crowd scenario between a girl (Dasom), her fiance (some guy I don't know) and his best friend (Seo In Guk). Love lines cross, and unhappiness ensues.

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

'Ma Boy' is the best thing that has or ever will happen to Kpop

I know this video has been out for a while but I feel obligated to give props to the greatest thing Kpop will ever produce.


I finally gave in: G.Na's "Top Girl"

This feature looks at songs it took me awhile to like. These songs generally fall into two categories. In the first category are songs one might avoid for reasons such as "Ew, that sucks" or "zomg what's this bullshit?" Category 2 includes songs I never gave a chance because I was being a moron. Such songs in Category 2 include Psy's "Gangnam Style" and Troublemaker's "Troublemaker," both with which I am now in love. With Psy and Troublemaker, I stayed away because I didn't know the artist/group (OK, I knew Hyuna, but I didn't know Hyunseung/JS at the time). When I finally came to the party (three weeks and a month and a half late, respectively), I was sad I had waited to give these songs a chance.

G.Na's "Top Girl" falls into the former category, though. I gave "Top Girl," which came out in August 2011, a chance pretty quickly. I excitedly watched the video, waiting for my mind to be blown. But alas, the song t'sucked. Since then, I've not listened to "Top Girl" every chance I've had. *Song played on music shows -- ignored* *Song related to other better songs on YouTube -- ignored*


Monday, October 8, 2012

My shamefur liking of a ShiT-ara Song

GUEST POST FROM UR BRO SOYEONFRIEND

I've come to confess my sins.


Rain, rain

I was going to post an upbeat, inspirational "Himnae" type song to banish the Monday blues, or some shit like that. I woke up late, though, and it's been raining here for a couple days now. Because of this, my mood has changed, and I no longer feel peppy.


Suck it, SNSD

Cockroach of Kpop

So I recently struck up a friendship with Juniel's "Fool." I didn't intend to. In fact, I quite purposefully skipped it from my Pandora generic kpop hits station (a station created for those times when T-ara Radio and Beast Radio just aren't enough).

The problem was "Fool" always came back. Now I know, I could have just thumbsed it down, thus telling Pandora not to play it on that station anymore. But thumbsing down is such a final action. I try to use it only in cases of extreme hatred or annoyance, such as B.A.P. I figured my constant, quick skipping would somehow alert Pandora and convince it to play "Fool" with less frequency.

But alas, that didn't happen.

Sunday, October 7, 2012

Let's talk about "Talk About S"

I watched Ga-In's comeback stage on Inkigayo to see whether "Bloom" translated better onto the stage. Turns out, it was mostly the same since the concept/dances were the same ones in the video, basically. There was the subtle addition of a massive Cinderella-type carriage in the background, though, which gave me something new to look at.


My, that's a sexy carriage you have there


Friday, October 5, 2012

Review: Ga-In "Bloom" (가인, 피어나)

Ga-In made her solo comeback this week with "Bloom," the title track from her latest album, "Talk About S." Now, I must admit: Ga-In is my least favorite BEGger. I've always been more into the other three. That's not to say I don't like Ga-In; I do. I think she has a refreshing image that differentiates her from other idols, and she generally puts on a good show (other than her and Jo Kwon's version of "Troublemaker," which made me cry a little inside, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vM5YTMcTuOo. Sorry Adam Couple fans, but that shit ain't sexy).

"Bloom" describes a young woman's first explorations into love, basically. The song itself is upbeat with a funky '70s background. The chorus is catchy and bright with Ga-In channeling her favorite Disney princess, Jasmine, as she sings, "You're my whole new world." On first listen, the song didn't grab me, but by second play, I definitely liked the vibe it gave off. I think it'd be a great song for getting ready in the morning.

Enter the video.

Cheerz: AS "Diva"

Welcome to Cheerz! In this weekly feature, I'll post a fun song to start the weekend off right. Enjoy this 2009 throwback from After School:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=03aOGh9dNU0

I much prefer Old After School over recent incarnations. They're fun and give off a more mature feel than Modern After School in which the mean age is like 12. Old After School doesn't have any extraneous members and is just pure awesomeness.

Now, before any Nana fans rage out, I'm not saying I hate every After School member that came after the "Diva" era. I love me some Lizzy, Raina, and Nana. (OK, so I really don't care about the two newest members. Got a problem with that?) I just wish there were two groups: Old After School with all its original members (and Uee) and Orange Caramel. Ah, now that would be a perfect situation ...

Out of lockdown



Lushes rejoice! Everybody's favorite drunk is back in the game! That's right: According to important news sources Allkpop, Nichkhun is out of lockdown and back in action. It feels hotter in here already. 

Nicky's ending his mandatory time off and going to do some volunteer work or something like that. Apparently, ol' JYP's decided Nichkhun has served sufficient penance for his crimes against humanity partying.

And since it's Friiiiday, I know I'll be pouring one out for our hot Khunny. I'm getting a sudden urge for a mai tai ...

Anyway, mothers, lock up your daughters. Drunkhun's back on the prowl.